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Charles Bastille's avatar

"It’s challenging because I want to keep ripping it apart and trying to fix. Not sure if that’s an ADHD thing or an autism thing or a me thing but it’s hard to resist."

I think it's a writer thing. :-)

All writers are probably neurodivergent in some way, I suspect.

I shudder when I see some of my stuff after it's been published. I encourage you to just say, "The h--- with it," and let it fly. You're a good writer.

I also love the name of this substack.

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Barbara Graver's avatar

I'm glad you like the name :)

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Barbara Graver's avatar

Hi Charles! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and encouragement! I don’t think I’m a bad writer necessarily but I do find writing challenging. I read a great book by literary professor and critic Julie Brown, however, called Writers on the Spectrum that helped me better understand my specific issues. There is a fine line, I think, (in writing and in life) between "fixing" things and staying true to your own authentic self. I do absolutely struggle with it. I just shared an article I wrote a few months ago on autism and the narrative process here on Substack. Please check it out if you are interested :)

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Charles Bastille's avatar

I'll look for it, thanks! I'm glad you didn't consider "All writers are probably neurodivergent in some way" dismissive. I definitely didn't mean it to (it sort of sounds that way when I see it now!).

I'm in my mid 60s and we just didn't have much info on any of this stuff when I was young. Who knows what kind of undiagnosed stuff is coursing through my brain? It's nice to see the medical profession has made some progress helping people understand this stuff. I know, too, there's a lot of work to do there.

I also absolutely understand the challenge. If I had mastered the self-confidence part of writing, I wouldn't have waited until my sixties to try to get stuff published. I only tried once when I was young. I sent an sci-fi story to Omni Magazine. Ellen Datlow was the editor. I still remember the name because she didn't send a form letter. She wrote several paragraphs of encouragement in the rejection letter and described the parts she liked in the story, and told me to try again. I never did even though I was actually pretty thrilled to get the personal response.

So, yep! I understand!

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Barbara Graver's avatar

I absolutely agree with you about confidence!There are so many different ways that people struggle creatively and it can very hard to get out of our own way. A tendency towards perfectionism (or its ideal) has been a huge stumbling block for me. I am self-publishing for the first time too! Now that the vampire story is on hold for beta reading I've gone back to an old epic fantasy romance (if that's even a genre) and am kind of toggling back and forth between that and the new story. I am really looking forward to reading your book (and determined to get mine out by the end of the year).

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Charles Bastille's avatar

Yup, getting out of my own way is the biggest challenge!

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Charles Bastille's avatar

Thanks. It’s a dark comedy of sorts, and doesn’t follow the typical vampire genre. I did my own thing there aside from borrowing a few established myths. I hope you like it!

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Fiona Tate's avatar

Loving this story!

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Barbara Graver's avatar

Thank you!!!

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